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♪ ღ ♪ Women In Aesthetics of Allegiance ♪ ღ ♪

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Faithfulness is a work of art of the human mind can be very happy that another human being. The price is not stated in a matter of dollars. And loyalty that is very, very rare for us to meet today.

Loyalty does not only apply only to the relationship of husband and wife, but in all the relations of the human heart complete with their interests.

Ask any human mind, how they will definitely need someone who can genuinely give allegiance to them.

But why on the other hand, when humans are placed in a position where he must fulfill the faith of others, or in other words, happy for other people, human beings often get stuck in to the temptation to play the fire about how loyalty is violated. That, however, the story goes, the devil will never stop making sinful man.

Therefore, from our own in the busy demands of others to always hold the trust and the trust we gave him, then why are not we better make ourselves as the best gift that they are happy. A good training that will provide a beautiful reality in practice fidelity, is when our own self-consciously understand the beauty of a loyalty.

Because personal fidelity is only owned by a noble, because it reflects the personal loyalty that is so widely accepted all the advantages and shortcomings of others. His soul led him broad smile and keep thinking positive about all that God has outlined to him.

Because only available for private devotion with a strong spirit. Look how graceful about how to survive the things which are presented to him. And was common when humans comes boredom, but a lesson in loyalty, has taught man that comes with the inner or complement it, to turn into a magical way in which the elegant, boredom will in turn it became a fun thing.

Because loyalty is only held by beautiful soul. How very difficult when someone is set on a situation where he must remain in a state of fidelity terkelilingi by the department of treason. It is bitter at first because of this, he was `forced 'to training heed his own soul and his heart, to keep the loyalty.

Being loyal is to give peace to anyone that we are faithful to him. Being faithful is still fun to anyone that we are faithful to him. Being faithful is an infinite gift for anyone who desired God to have it.

Then be owner of a patent loyalties, by a faithful servant of God who keep it straight, or try to always keep straight under any circumstances. What could be more beautiful than a temperament and behavior of a servant whose heart is submissive and devoted to Robbnya?. Fall up is definitely something in a self-trained to be faithful, but they certainly are, that a struggle must come to an end, and hopefully the end of the truly faithful are personal gain by Heaven. God willing.

open old records: ~ Soca ~

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

This world will run faster toward destruction when teachers no longer understand how important he was to the world. Their job is not to impose its will on the disciples, but just open their eyes and membiaran discover his own world.

Soca ... How hebatpun yourself, never felt he had to become a teacher. Sampaikalah benefit from the knowledge that you know only just to remind yourself. Because a teacher should not take up arms and show dexterity, except when he was teaching science to her students.

Too east if today kaujadikan yourself as a teacher, are not you leave one little bit bitter trail to the top of the salty-bitter as life. Berlakulah as carve time period. Needless to hasty decision.

Fatigue is a partial test of patience. A Pandita should not call himself Pandita. You arrived at the top of the mountains as you browse through the valleys and you climb any steep ravines sharpness.

Indeed, at every threshold-threshold glory seeds of destruction are always available. So walk with a cloak of silence, because the world is so swift flowing temptation. Likewise tease you to quickly rid themselves of it should you intervenes.

Without a common thread

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Several years ago I traveled to Yogyakarta. While it is fun-fun finish to the views of the people passing in addition to Smart Park, all of a sudden my stomach like a worm colonized wild. I certainly would not want to immediately find a toilet, hoping for some free toilet that could be where I carry loose.

After walking around, I found no such thing as a toilet too. Finally I decided to do the wandering around the streets nearby-there. Alhamdulillah .... I finally found a Catholic church people who I forgot his name. Between needs and doubts, I finally decided to venture into the church yard.

Incidentally there is an outgoing person. Out of nowhere, which he clearly out of place I had never seen, though not deliberately hidden. With the dialect that I make-up so as not to sound too Ndesa, I asked about the existence of a toilet in it and hope to gave me the most glorious place for the attainment of my intent.

Thank God for the second time, he gently showed me the right way.
"Through the right, then there will be the entrance. Mas just go there, near the door was a toilet. "
And not just smile on my lips but also on the lips of the man that I did not know his name at that time until now.

"What a glorious place," I thought at the time. In recent times the beautiful pengejanan finally I could finish it with the intent that it is difficult diprosentasekan success rate of success. After approaching the verge of completion, I decided to wrap because I am bound by the comrades who mendatagi jogja together.

Out of the scene (the scene), my face was so sumringah like people who do not bear the burden of sin. Some ask about the sphere of my existence had disappeared.

"I think people were kidnapped, said." Said one friend who of course just a mere joke.
"Where there are people who want to kidnap me hooked to eat, he could lose the next world." Answer me blindly, and my friends laughed so heard.

Of course I capture their laughter as happiness which does not require bribes. Laughter truly sincere as sincere men who received me at the church.

Shortly thereafter, we take a trip to the shopping center. Berjejaran many books, but there are things that are so caught my attention when standing near a row of religious books. They are so in harmony despite their different faith. Some of them even contains a discussion of some people in the name of interfaith discussion.

Whim, I opened a book and read its contents. I certainly do not need to say anything and just book it tells how. In addition to so many kinds of content are presented, which clearly I myself have forgotten about what I read.

If some time ago had heard the news about the opposition groups from biker gangs to the religious beliefs, in bookstores, I felt so peaceful to see the contents of different books that face each other and talking to each other with their respective viewpoints. They never argue, but simply pass on appropriate information which they know and understand. No sound of explosions and teasing. Even when I pass them without permission, there is nothing to feel angry at all. Those who are not sensitive or that I do not have manners? Maybe I am crazy. Just like that conclusion.

The last place we visited was Parangtritis which some domestic tourists call it by its acronym Paris. I also wonder, it reminds me of the city of Bandung is known as the Paris Van Java. In my mind the question, "Why not just the so-called Paris Jawane Europe?"

With the mention of-the mention of something that identifies it as a nation have duplication of other countries shows that we are not confident enough to make us as a cultural epicenter. People are more often banging her identity very far from what they already have so often we experience culture shock is to Amnesia.

In fact, if we allow a little time to look for a moment some things very well respected by people in the western world with what we have found a much different understanding of the range. One is when the people we use several types of animals to show things are not as good as calling someone a dog, in the West dogs are very honored. Even a female labrador dog named Genny almost became mayor in Canada if the selection committee to authenticate it to be one candidate. Looks like the owner, Marven Whidden, already felt that he was worthy to become one of the dogs in the city's residents.

So, what does the story just now with the story of my ride defecating on one of the Catholic Church Jogja? I do not really know where the threads. And as always, I will force myself not to blush-story merahkan thread because I am not a carpenter or a tailor screen printing in many Judicial custody slapstick.

Is not it ...?


Monday, July 2, 2012

shut up if you do not understand anything
ask if you want to understand anything
The remaining waste is:
for those who do not understand

must always be friends no means agree
uncertain of the correct
no means always the wrong enemy
... but man;
does not mean anything, if
do not understand humanity

silence is a choice
life is not merely dwell
talk to if your hand stiff
dumb move if your mouth
write if you are able to

Just enter the barrel
if the head of the frozen

I Hate My husband of ten years

Sunday, June 17, 2012

May the events below to make us learn to be grateful for what we have:

I hate it, that's what always whisper in my heart for most of our time together. Though married, I never really gave my heart to him. Marriage of emotional abuse parent, makes me hate my own husband.

Although forced marriage, I never showed the attitude of hatred. Though hated it, every day I serve as the task of a wife. I had to do it all because I had no other grip. Several times a desire to leave but I do not have the financial capability and support for anyone. My parents were very fond of my husband because according to them, my husband is a figure of perfect husband for their only daughter.

When married, I became the wife of a very spoiled. I did everything as I please. My husband also indulged in such a way. I never really had my duties as a wife. I always depend on him because I thought it was supposed to be after what he did to me. I gave my life to him that his job makes me happy to obey all my wishes.

In our house, I'm the queen. No one dared to resist. If there is little problem, I always blame my husband. I do not like a wet towel placed on the bed, I hate to see it put the spoon stirring the rest of the milk on the table and it left a sticky, I hate when he uses my computer even if only to finish the job. I was angry when he hung his clothes in kapstock my shirt, I'm also angry that he put the toothpaste without squeezing it neatly, I was angry when he contacted me to many times when I'm having fun with my friends.

I had chosen not to have children. Although it does not work, but I do not want to take care of the child. Initially he and I will support family planning with the pill. But apparently he wants to hide it in until one day I forgot to take birth control pills and even though he knew he had let it. I also pregnant and did not realize until after more than four months, refused to abort dokterpun.

That's the greatest anger him. Anger grew when I was expecting twins and have had a difficult birth. I forced him to act a vasectomy so I'm not pregnant anymore. Dutifully, he did all of my wishes because I threatened to leave with our two children.

Time passed until the children do not feel over-year to eight. Like the previous morning, I woke up at the end. Husband and children were waiting for me at the dinner table. As usual, it was he who provided breakfast and the kids off to school. That day, he warned that day there was the anniversary of my mother. I just replied with a nod of his words regardless of events reminiscent of the previous year, when I choose to go to the mall and the mother was not present at the event. Well, because they feel trapped in my marriage, I also hate my parents.

Prior to the office, usually my husband just kissed me and the children followed. But that day, he hugged me so the kids tease him noisily. I tried to dodge and release the arms. Although finally smile with the children. He kissed back up several times at the door, as if the weight to go.

When they leave, I will decide to go to the salon. Spending time to the salon is a hobby of mine. I arrived at the salon langgananku few hours later. In the salon I met one of my friends as well as those who did not like. We chat with each other showing off fun including our activities. It was time I had to pay the bills salon, but how shocked I was when I realized that my wallet left behind at home. Although the deepest reach into my bag until I could not find it in the bag.

Trying to remember what happened until I could not find my wallet I called my husband and ask.

"Sorry dear, Farhan yesterday asking pocket money and I have little money it took from your wallet. I forgot to put it back into the bag, I think I put on my desk. "Said explained gently.

Angrily, I scolded her harshly. I hung up without waiting for finish. Shortly thereafter, handphoneku resumes and although still upset, I will lift it with half snaps. "What else?"

"Honey, I'm home now, I'll grab his wallet and drove him to you. Unfortunately now there is where? "Asked my husband quickly, afraid I hung up again. I mention the name of my salon and without waiting for the answer again, I re-hung.

I spoke with the cashier and said that my husband would come to pay my bill. The owner of Salon that my friend had in fact let me go and said I could pay for it later when I come back again.

But the shame of the "enemy" also come to hear me out of my wallet makes me proud to owe first.

The rain fell as I looked out and expect the car to my husband immediately. Minutes stretched into hours, I was getting impatient so started calling my husband's cell phone. There was no answer despite repeated call. Though usually only twice has he lifted the phone rang. I began to feel uncomfortable and angry.

Phone picked up after several attempts. When the sound of yet another bentakanku out, a strange voice answered the phone my husband. I was silent for a moment before the sound stranger introduced himself, "Good day, mother. Is the mother the wife of the father armandi? "I answer that question soon.

Stranger turned out to be a policeman, he was told that my husband had an accident and now he is being taken to the police hospital. At that moment I was silent and the only answer thank you. When the phone is closed, I crouched in puzzlement. My hands clutched the phone in my hands and some salon employees approached me with a swift asked what was wrong until my face turned pale white as paper.

Somehow I ended up in hospital. Somehow also knew the whole family was there to catch up. I'm just waiting for my husband's silence in front of the emergency room. I do not know what to do as long as it was he who did everything for me. When finally after waiting several hours, just as the sunset call to prayer echoes sounded a doctor came out and delivered the news. My husband is gone. He left not because of the accident itself, stroke was the cause of his death.

Finished hearing the fact, I even busy parents and parents reinforce the shock. There was absolutely no drop of tears in my eyes out. I was busy calming the mother and father-in-law. Children who are hit with a tight hug, but their grief utterly unable to make me cry.

When the corpse was brought into the house and I sat in front of him, I was staring face. I realize this is the first time I actually looked at his face that seemed fast asleep. I approached her and looked at it carefully.

That's when my chest becomes congested remembered what he'd given me for ten years together. Gently touched her face was cold and I realize that this is the first time I touched her face, which had always decorated with a warm smile.

Spread tears in my eyes, blurring my vision. I gasped trying to wipe the tears did not hinder my last look at her, I want her to remember all the good memories about my husband could have ended there. But instead of stopping, the torrential flooding tears on both cheeks. Warnings from mosque imam who could not organize a funeral procession made me stop crying. I tried not to, but my chest remembering what I did to him last time we talked.

I remembered how I never pay attention to his health. I hardly ever manage to eat. Though he always manage what I eat. He noticed that vitamins and medications should kukonsumsi especially when pregnant and after childbirth. He never missed eating regularly reminded, sometimes even feed me if I'm lazy to eat. I never knew what he was eating because I never asked. I do not even know what he likes and dislikes.

Almost the entire family to know that my husband is a fan of strong coffee and instant noodles. My chest to hear, because I know he may be forced to eat instant noodles because I hardly ever cook for him. I'm just cooking for the kids and myself. I do not care he had eaten or not when I go home. He can eat my cooking only when left. And he came home late from work every day because it is quite far away from home. I never want to respond to his request to move closer to his office for not far away from where my friends live.

At the funeral, I could not help himself. I fainted when I saw him disappear along piles of stockpiled soil. I do not know anything until waking up in my big bed. I awoke with a sense of regret meeting my chest cavity. My extended family in vain to persuade me because they never knew why I was so hurt to lose him.

I spent the days after his departure is not freedom as long as it wanted, but instead I was trapped in the desire to be with him. In the early days of his departure, I sat stunned staring at an empty plate. Father, mother and mother-in-law persuaded me to eat. But what I remember is when my husband talked me eat when I'm mengambek first.

When I forgot to bring a towel in the bath, I screamed and called her as usual when in fact my mother is coming, I crouched down crying in the bathroom hope he comes. Habit of calling every time I can not do anything at home, making his bewildered friend answered the phone. Every night I waited in the bedroom and expect the next morning I woke up next to her figure.

I was so upset when first heard snoring sleep, but now I even wake up for the longing to hear it again. First I was upset because he was often a mess in our bedroom, but now I feel our bedroom was empty and hollow. Once I was so upset when it does the job and left it on my laptop without having to log out, now I'm staring at a computer, the keys rubbed his fingers hoping the former is still left there.

First I do not like it to make coffee without a base plate on the table, now the scar is left on the breakfast terakhirnyapun not want to erase. Typical television remote hiding, is now easily found, though I wish I could replace the loss with the loss of the remote. All the stupidity that I did because I realized that he loved me and I have been hit by an arrow of love.

I'm also angry at myself, I was angry because all seemed normal although she had none. I'm angry

because the clothes are still there to leave the smell that makes me nostalgic. I was angry because he can not stop all my sorrow. I was angry because there's nothing to persuade me to calm down, reminding me there's nothing more I pray even now willingly.

I pray because I want to apologize, to apologize to God for a husband squandered was awarded to me, asking forgiveness for being a bad wife to her husband who is so perfect. Sholatlah are able to remove my grief a little. Love God showed to me with so much attention from the family for me and the kids. My friends who have been defending Stand up, almost never show their nose after the departure of my husband.

Forty days after his death, reminding families to rise from adversity. There are two children who are waiting for me and should I live. Back a sense of confusion came over me. During this time I knew something wrong and never worked. My husband is all done. How much of his income during this I do not care, I care about only the amount of dollars that he transfer to my account for personal use and wear for every month the money is almost never left. From the office where she works, I get the final salary with bonus compensation.

I was speechless when he saw it did not expect, it turns out the entire salary is transferred into my account so far. Though I was never the slightest use for domestic purposes. Somewhere else where he obtained the money to meet domestic needs because I never asked about itu.Yang though I know now I have to work or my children would not be able to live because of the number of final salary and bonus compensation would not be enough to feed three of us. But working in? I hardly ever have any experience at all. Everything is always governed by him.

Bewilderment missed some time later. My father came with a notary. He brings a lot of documents. Then provide a notarized letter. Husband's affidavit that he bequeathed his entire estate to me and the kids, he accompanied his mother in the letter but that made me unable to say anything is what she wrote for me.

Beloved wife Liliana,

Sorry to have to leave first, dear. sorry to make you responsible for taking care of everything yourself. I'm sorry I can not give love and affection again. God gave me a very short time for love and children is the best thing I ever did for you.

If I could, I would like to accompany love forever. But I do not want you to lose my love for granted. I've been saving little by little to your life later. I do not want to love hard after I left. There's not much but I hope I can give love to use it to raise and educate children. Do your best to them, yes dear.

Do not cry, my love being spoiled. Do a lot of things to make your life wasted all this time. I give you the freedom to realize the dreams that you do not have time for this. Forgive me if I trouble you and may God give you better than me mate.

Dear Farah, my beloved daughter. I'm sorry because my father could be there with you. Be a good wife as mother and Farhan, knight protector. Take care of mother and Farah. Do not be a naughty boy again and always remember where you were, my father would see him there. Okay, Buddy!

I wept reading the letter, there is a cartoon with glasses that were typical of the tongue sticking my husband if he sent the note. Notary told that during this time my husband has some insurance and savings deposits of the legacy of his biological father. My husband made some of the savings deposit business and the business was quite successful despite dimanajerin by those beliefs. I can only cry to know how much he loved us, so that when death came to him he was still flooded us with love.

I never thought to marry again. The number of men who attended was able to remove the figure is still so alive in my heart. Day after day just kuabdikan for my children. When my parents and my in-laws go one by one leaving selaman ever, none left the sadness deep sadness when my husband left.

The second son is now twenty-three year old daughter. In two days my daughter marry a young man from the land side. Our daughter asked, "Mom, I'm going to do it later after becoming a wife, Farah because it can cook ga, ga can nyuci, how ya lady?"

I hugged her saying "Love love, love your husband, love the choice of your heart, love what he has and you will get everything. For love, you will learn to please him, will learn to accept his shortcomings, will learn that for any problem, you'll finish it in the name of love. "

My daughter looked at me, "like a mother's love for the father? Is that love makes the mother remained faithful to the father until now? "

I shook my head, "no, my dear. Love your husband like a father loves the mother first, like a father loves you both. Devoted mother to my father for father's love is so great in the mother and both of you. "

I probably got lucky because it did not show my love for my husband. I spent ten years to hate him, but spent most of the rest of my life for love. I'm free of him because of death, but I could never free from the love that is so sincere.

Between Love And Friendship

Friday, June 15, 2012

may be very painful if we are in a position to choose between love and friendship,
I admit, ....
I will not take risks that are too painful,
I would not choose it,
I will make sure that my best friend is the one for me and my love is the person I choose for my future,
I'm sure my love will be all right,
because of a sincere love will clearly understand.
how meaningful a friendship.
"sacrifice" in both of them had to be excluded from our everyday lives,
I could not have sacrificed my friendship to a love,
and I could not love for a kegoisan mengorbakankan alone,
hay my friend and my love,
understood you,
you are the very means of life.

no sweet promises of friendship, but the real action is always given to you always with me forever,
and always try to understand my situation.

I love my friends,
and I always loved my love someday

If it works just worked, worked monkeys

Saturday, June 9, 2012

last night

A friend asked me

Why would the situation be like this, ..?

Then I answered

"The right man on the right place and the right time" is lost brother, ..


do not expect everything will be fine.

After that my mind drifted

Then get to the city Minang and met my old friend

At that time he said:

"If you just live life, live pigs in the forest as well"

"If it works just worked, worked monkeys"

Shake the death of the soul

Thursday, May 17, 2012

In a village there lived an old woman teacher of the Koran. He is known for its modesty, gentleness, and patience in teaching the science of religion. However, in terms of the Shari'a, he was known to be honest and disiplin.Artinya he would say A if A and B if B says, although his opinion was contrary to public opinion in general is still common.

He was already uzdur (about 70 years) but still fresh and radiant face afiat organs. Not much to ask where he is, especially for new settlers in the village. People refer to him as Grandma Hajj (pilgrimage because it is), Granny Guru, Ustadzah, Encang Haji, or Encang Guru. His real name is rarely mentioned people. He teaches religion and reading the Koran in his simple nan, in a village on the outskirts of the metropolis.

Teachers Encang known not distinguish anyone. Nor their age. Anyone who wants to take your lessons, are welcome to come to his house on a regular basis on the day and time. It's just reserved for those who want the Koran, must be serious and istiqomah. Can not get to just mess around and try.

In the past, pilgrims teachings are a small congregation. But now, as more people will know her politeness, knowledge, and the nature of the patient, many people are increasingly self glorifying him. A large organization has recorded him as the man who should be respected, honored, and given a place commensurate with the scientific and moral causes.

Well, in the same village there lived a man's head that are contrary to the environment (antagonist). He was much younger (around the 50's) and have a profession that more or less the same, ie tutor. It's just that he tends to be commercial and self-worldly. Let's call him Ustadz Darly

As a simple example, when he will deliver Friday sermons, then he will be picky mosque which could give a big honor. If there is a project of rural / urban villages, it was he who acted as the only person (in the neighborhood) who can submit proposals, disburse funds, and create accountability reports that the reality is different to what dilaporkan.Semuanya under the control of him and his family. All heads beneath the environment, no one slightly and do not know for sure. If the repaired water line so Alhamdulillah, despite an improved 20 m and 100 m were reported. If the environment in the asphalt road to collect dues each house passed Rp 100,000 yes Alhamdulillah, though properly without having to collect dues and properly citizens with a good sealing. A lot of people associated with the village who knows football terjangnya, then they leaked it to the community off the record. So all in silence, but in fact was equally understood.

One day he met with Encang Teacher in front of his house. Conversation ensued,

"... By the way his contract is long what ya soon!"

Darly asking questions intended to poke fun. Said one resident, Darly's the way the character, and cornered like to poke fun at people. It seemed he would not be satisfied if it does not make people be offended or hurt.

Ustadz Darly had heard teasing, Encang Haji just said patiently, perhaps by holding a little heart on his chest wound. His voice and disabar dipelankan-sabarkan.

"Son Haji ... Her name is that age, we can not know ...."

Darly Ustadz hastily interrupting,

"... But I have a long contract Haji Nek ...."

"Well ... his name age, son Haji ga be so. All pre-determined destiny by God .. "

"Yeah, but I still contract longer Haji Nek right?"

Encang Teachers can only hear silence Darly feat that is not to be outdone by ledekannya. If you need to have his chest to revive him, perhaps Encang Haji may already be done. But alas, he was probably advised.

Incidentally Ustadz Darly was with his wife at the time, the behavior is not much different from himself. Suddenly his wife said:

"Who is going to be a widow Haji Nek back soon .."

Darly Ustadz wife did not want to lose joked with death. Haji Encang already Widow. As if she said that her husband was still young and old still lives in her dunia.Tidaklah possible and in turn receive a widow. He cornered Encang pilgrimage to suggest a question "If not Encang Haji who would soon die then who is? '


Two days later, there was a breaking news is not unexpected. Darly cleric reportedly died from complications of appendicitis at a hospital in the metropolis.

Some people took the news casually without enthusiasm, partly surprised that only a few days ago met in a healthy condition, and some gratitude in the hearts of each one.

But there is one man who shook his soul to hear the news. And it was revealed a few days after the period of mourning over and he recounted the incident to the nearest odd. He was the teacher's grandmother.

"To this day my heart was still shaking when considering the incident ...." he said.

Without mentioning why, we can understand and feel the atmosphere of his mind. He did not say anything any word when he ridiculed and marginalized. When they should be honored because he is much older and it is the integrity and scientific baik.Namun he more likely, unwilling servant of Allah that sincere hurt and wounded heart.

Allah SWT has been reluctant menjawabkan questions he answered at that time. Allah SWT has membalaskannya with a fair return.

His heart trembled because His power is so obvious lies before him.

Naudzubillah. May we avoid offending noble-minded servants of God. And may this be the amplifier that we do not need to worry or be afraid to rebuke those who denounce us. Lean everything to Him. Allah SWT has the best response to hambaNya.Wallahua 'lam.